Colorado Technical University

How does my cover letter sound now, any corrections please...part 2?

I did like you guys said, and I think it sounds fine now! --------------------------------------... [My Name] [Street Address] [City, ST ZIP Code] September, 05 2008 To whom it my concern, Your advertisement for an entry-level position caught my attention as I prepare to begin my career. Your corporation is one of the leaders in the engineering field, and I am interested in being employed by a company with your background. My academic credentials as a graduate of State University and hands-on experience give me a firm foundation in electrical and computer engineering industry. I have also applied classroom lessons into innovative and successful school projects. My personal attributes include leadership and sound judgment as well as analytical, creativity and troubleshooting skills. I interact productively with people from diverse background. Thank you for taking your time to review my resume. I would welcome the chance to discuss how my education, practical skills, and background would that qualifies me to be a member of your Company. If you are interested in getting to know how I can be the perfect fit to your company, please contact me at 000-000-0000 or myname@email.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, MY NAME Attachment Resume --------------------------------------... This should sound better now.... What do you think? Thank you so much guys!

Public Comments

1. Hi, very good letter, but i would take out the 2nd paragraph. That info should already be on your resume. Every thing else is superb!
2. Drop the first paragraph, they know who they are and what you want, so you don't have to stroke egos there. Just start out by saying that from what you understand of their ad, you believe that your experience and education would provide a perfect fit.
3. your fourth paragraph 2nd sentence---you need to take the word "that" out and change qualifies to qualify. and take out the second paragraph just like said before you have this in you resume. Sounds REALLY good.