Colorado Technical University

Do you and your spouse share the same financial habits?

This article says that people tend to choose their opposite, when it comes to finances. What do you think? http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090728/lf_nm_life/us_finances_marriage NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) – Frustrated by your spouse's spending habits? It might be why you married them, according to a working paper titled "Fatal (Fiscal) Attraction" by professors of the Wharton School of Finance and Northwestern University. "Surveys of married adults suggest that opposites attract when it comes to emotional reactions toward spending," Wharton's Scott Rick and Deborah Small and Northwestern's Eli Finkel said in the paper. They found that people who generally spend less than they would ideally like to spend, and those who spend more than they would like to tend to marry each other. George Loewenstein, a professor of economics and psychology at Carnegie Mellon University, in a separate study called "Tightwads and Spendthrifts" published last year, found that the degree people feel of a "pain of paying" determines if they are a "tightwad" or a "spendthrift." Loewenstein's study, conducted with Wharton's Rick and Carnegie Mellon doctoral student Cynthia Cryder, found that the extent to which people said they found a pain of paying strongly predicted their savings and credit card debt, but were unrelated to income. That could be a reason why these opposites attract, Rick, Small and Finkel wrote. Those who find it painful to spend, for example, may dislike that characteristic in themselves, and so are attracted to people who are more liberal in their approach to money. That's even though most single people say they would be happiest marrying someone with similar spending habits to their own. "The disconnect between what people say they look for in an ideal mate and the characteristics of actual mates to whom they are attracted is unfortunate," Rick, Small and Finkel wrote, as the different spending habits often result in greater financial conflict in marriage. It is also unlikely that people will change from being a big spender to being a big saver or vice versa, said Loewenstein. "We have been looking for any reason in people's pasts that could make them into a tightwad or a spendthrift," he said in an interview. "We haven't found it yet. Perhaps it is genetic."

Public Comments

1. My husband couldn't save a dime if his life depended on it. It drives me INSANE! It is also what has forced us to keep separate bank accounts. I feel that the 'savers' get the short end of the stick when they marry a 'spender'. Not exactly fair.
2. We have completely different habits, I tend to be much more thrifty and a saver, while he is a spender and a splurger. But he has gotten much much better. He recently told me it's because I have been a good example to him, so he wants to be better. My parents always taught me the value of a hard earned dollar and how to save. My husband appreciates this and tried his best to make smart decisions. He is still working on it, but that's fine. As long as he is trying, I'm happy.
3. Yes we do. We both spend MY money and don't spend hers.
4. Well I make the money and she spends it. How much more opposite can you get? It drives me bananas that as qucik as I bring it home, it's gone. I've tried explaining about saving for a rainy day, college funds, retiremen, etc, but it just doesn't sink in. I have $10 a paycheck going to a savings account that she knows nothing about. Not much I know, but it feels like a moral victory to me!
5. Interesting study - and now that I think about it I know many opposite spenders that are together/married. My husband has always been the saver - he feels guilty spending $10 on himself. I used to be the big spender - spending more than my means. BUT, he's taught me a lot and now we are both savers...it has taken years though of paying off debt to realize that I'd much rather go without and have a few extra dollars in the savings account than to have that temporary "high" that I got from spending til my heart's content.
6. My wife likes to spend money. I am more frugal about my habits, and that has caused some interesting conversations, to say the least. I think it stems from when she was married to her first husband, because he made quite a bit more money than I do before he died, and she was good at spending what he brought home.
7. we have similar spending habits.
8. So true. So true.
9. Actually, both my husband and I are frugal savers. We had lots of talks about money before we got married since I watched so many of my friends fight nail and tooth with their spouses who did have completely opposite financial approaches. I lucked out!
10. I agree wholeheartedly.
11. I agree..we are completely opposite.
12. gee, i guess this applies to bedroom activity too?? i mean, given me and MY wife!!! lol
13. no. he spends a little on the kids here and there. and i do all the other shopping. unless hes taking me out. ;)