Colorado Technical University

How do you NOT CARE what other people think about you? Selfish Culture?

Hi. I have some problems....... Im from a culture where education is very very important, where its ideal to be married by 24, and where families secrelty argue about who has the better kid i.e. in terms of education, wealth and power, popularity etc. Problem is, i am the complete opposite of what this culture expects from me. Im 24, going back to university, have absoultely no interest in getting married until i am settled in my career, - ill be 29 then. and their idea of marriage is to "find" someone. I HATE THIS IDEA. Your supposed to fall in love, and go through all these stages.. its supposed to be natural, like destiny? I dont have much confidence and im having a really hard time not caring about what other people think about my situation, i always feel like i have to lie about where i am in life (ie, i work for a big corporation) - which makes me feel worse. (And to top it all off my younger brother is really going places, big salary, lots of friends etc.. i hate to be jealous..) Please help? :(

Public Comments

1. Just be yourself. Bugger to the culture, as long as you do what you want to do with your life, your off to a good start
2. It's really hard to stop caring about what others think of you, especially when it's your family, but if you feel what you are doing is best for yourself then you will get over it... it will probably take quite a long time, but I think after a while of not being recognized for all you have done and just nitpicked about not being married and not searching for a husband.... then you just stop caring.... I'm 28 now and don't give a crap what my family thinks about my life decisions because I am proud of what I have done......and I know what I have done is good.... so I'm over their crap...... it took me like 4-5 yrs...
3. you have some valid type ideas.. but you did say you were going to college if impressing people and pride is important to you thats a start college...many people out here would go to college end up working in a gas station with a degree.. others wanted to go to college but went thru wars.. others wanted a title other than waitress or cashier at a store but but all those places cant stay open unless intellegent people work for them but they could go to college after work work is forced on us we dont always have the luxury of choices.. are we embarassed or ashamned or lepers.... no.... we might wish for that title of wanna be as you said ceo in a corporation... so everyone doesnt get a big salary.. we all poop in the pot the same..... you have to over come these vain thoughts and ..follow what you are doing why would you be jealous of him for .. this world is overwhelming with possibiltys to the point some just spin their wheels never focus or again get used by the first store they drive by has a help want sign out someone has to work for them.. im sure they all have friends.. i think you will sort thru your confusion as you go along... jealousy is absurd .. theres enough of it all for everyone...lots a siblings make more money or have a different area of success ..if i was you id just say im happy for you... cause they need income and roof over head etc.. this isnt a communist world yet right.....i saw employees sitting out side on picnic table eating lunch blacks and whites both at aw rootbeer place i doubt they make alotta money or feel like a ceo but they were happy and eating and gabbing as friends... power to do what power to harm other people??? popularity is a word thats misleading many people down the wrong path...... one or two friends but an ARMY? marriage i always thought that ones entirely up to GOD.. find or wait yes that idea is a bit demeaning but if thats what it is to find someone why put everything into confusion.. fall in love well thanks to rocknroll music no one really knows or cares what love is its just sex mostly... who you calling selfish .. i dont see any reason to care what other people think about you... were friends with people that are waitresses doctors cashiers .. even on ssi .. whys it matter.. thats shallow.... cause we know we cant all live in the same hole.......so get over yurself and be happy your brothers doing well he just might help you out one day......lots a people wanna make big money so they can help out their own familys in a crisis...