Colorado Technical University

My ex-gfs friends are making me feel guilty (this may be long)?

My ex girlfriend and I broke up over a month ago. It had been a rocky relationship but we lasted together about four years and we did love each other very much. However, I started graduate school to obtain my doctoral degree and I just couldn't handle the pressure of our relationship and her insecurities constantly. I was struggling with my work and it was limiting my social opportunities in the city I'm now in. I had to make a decision and I feel it was the right one. It was very difficult explaining to her I couldn't give her what she wanted anymore despite promises I made in the past. Life changes I guess. I was failing but now my grades have gone up to As/B and even in a months time I've met a lot of new people that I'll soon be able to call friends I'm sure. My friendships that I've neglected over this course of time with her have also become better, as well as my relationship with my parents. I do miss her and I do love her still but I feel I made the best decision for my own life. Now, onto her friends. Every single day since our break up her friends have constantly called me and texted me telling me how down she is or how she is hurting herself because she doesnt have me. They tell me she hasn't had anyone her whole life and it was a miracle I made her happy. They keep telling me she's going to die, be miserable, and beat herself up for life about me. The first few weeks I tried to be understanding because I don't want my ex to go through any suffering. Now, I'm just getting irritated they're coming at me and trying to make me feel guilty and how I'm going to regret this for the rest of my life. I'm not a bad guy I just had to make a decision for the sake of my own life and now my life is stabilized. I keep telling them it's wrong they're pressuring me like this and one person shouldn't be responsible for someones happiness/sadness at this level. I'm sorry she's feeling this way because I do love her but it's not my job anymore you know.. Am I really wrong or what?

Public Comments

1. No, you're right. You should tell her friend, or maybe even her, that her personal problems aren't because of you and you could never really cure them, just sweep them under the rug for a while. What she needs to do, what her friends need to do, is to help her feel better about herself as an individual, not one-half of an unhealthy relationship. If she's hurting herself, she needs therapy and maybe medication, not a boyfriend to cling to.