Colorado Technical University

please edit my college app essay?

“On the plane there and back you will be held responsible for holding your passport and boarding pass...” All this independence and responsibility never crossed my mind when I signed up for this program; the excitement of traveling to Europe for the first time was the only thing on my mind. At sixteen years old there was nothing more I wanted than to have the freedom that my parents wouldn’t give me. I had first heard about the French Exchange Program when I was a freshman and was ecstatic to learn that I would be traveling abroad without my parents for two whole weeks. I was obsessed with the thought that I could trade my nagging mother for a new one for two weeks. All I wanted was to travel to the country that I had been learning about for five years and embrace its culture. Never in a million years would I have thought traveling to France would be an exhaustive experience; I just wanted to have fun in my favorite country. From the moment we got on the plane, our adventure began. Our days consisted of exploring all that the south of France had to offer. Walking up to five miles a day around the Palais de Papes and having our goûter at the various cafés were just a small part of the whole experience. There was barely any time to rest let alone think.There was always something going on during my two week stay and I was constantly in a whirlwind of my emotions. Our days ended with just enough time for dinner with our host families. After the first few days, when the jet-lag wore off, I came to the realization that my only form of communication was to speak a foreign language that I had only been practicing for a few years. My host family’s strong accents were a little difficult to decipher at first and communicating with basic sentences was a challenge. Communicating wasn’t an easy task; I had to comprehend their french, translate in my head, think of a response, and respond in french. The whole process, day after day, took a lot out of me. Throughout those two weeks I pushed myself to my limits, places I had never dared to venture before and possessed qualities I didn’t even know I had. As exhausting as it was, I learned many things from this experience that calling it highly rewarding would be an understatement. I feel as though I have matured in two short weeks than I ever could have in my whole high school career. My whole life I depended on my parents to handle my responsibilities for me. I was never the one to check the train schedule or go to the bank to exchange money; I always had someone there. I did most, if not all, things independently in France which would not have happened if I never traveled abroad. I learned that being dependant only leads to difficulties and independence leads to manageability. I now am fully aware on the amount of independence it takes to be on my own and feel that this experience has readied me for my future.

Public Comments

1. It's very, very good. But I would change "all that the south of France had to offer." to "exploring all that Southern France had to offer." Just sounds a little more fluent I think. Rest is awesome, good luck!